{I must thank Blaise Pascal for the inspiration for this work.  He came up with the idea whereas I am stealing it and putting it into my own words.  Thanks Blazzo.}

Blaise Pascal was first and foremost a scientist and mathematician of some renown.  It was only at the end of his life (which was really pretty short, only 39 years) that he discovered God and committed himself to the study of the divine.  Pascal, being and educated man, had read all of the books and studied all of the philosophy (as a good arts degree required back in the day—even for a mathematician).  When he came to know God, nothing repulsed him more than the humanist philosophers because by two particular means they pulled men away from God.

The first tool which Pascal sees the philosophers using for the damnation of mankind is pride.  The philosophers take us away from God by bringing us close to God.  That is to say that they elevate us to such an extent that we begin to compare ourselves to God, begin to see ourselves like God, and in short become God to ourselves.  Nothing could separate us from God so surely (see the Tower of Babel).

The second tool by which the philosophers damn mankind is lust, the opposite extreme.  Whereas pride causes us to withdraw from God, lust binds us to the earth.  For those to whom pride and deity are too great a vanity, lust will suffice.  In lust we are given to believe that our nature is no different to that of beasts.  Our lives become nothing more than a constant pursuit of our own “good”, of our own happiness, of our own freedom and our own pleasure.  In lust we do everything that we can to feed the flesh and in so doing we starve and destroy the spirit.

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship him in spirit and in truth. John 4:24

To be with God we must be united with him in spirit, an act that is impossible with a dead spirit.

Is it any wonder that the two sins of which the Bible speaks the most are pride and lust?  Is there a person who can honestly say that he or she does not struggle with one or both of these things?  I certainly cannot.

So the question then is, what to do about it?  How are we to be suitably humble?  How are we to cleave to God rather than to the world?

In the beginning, God.  Seems like a good way to start a book.  If Moses knew what a comma was he would have used one.  As Paul writes to the Church in Galatia, we have been given the Spirit for a reason.  We rely on the Spirit to cleanse us of our wickedness; we rely on the Spirit to “guarantee our inheritance”; we rely on the Spirit to do the big jobs but for some reason we feel that helping us with the daily actions of our lives is somehow beneath the Spirit.  Are you so foolish?  After beginning with the Spirit are you now trying to attain the goal by human effort?  Though when we are trapped in sin going to God in prayer is like raising the Titanic, it is the best time to do so.  Simply asking God to remove the sin from our lives is the best single action we can take towards removing it.  There is no doubt in my mind that the barest babe in Christ will resist the darts of Satan more strongly through ardent prayer and nothing else than will the most mature leather-tough-meat-eating-Christians by strength of will.  Righteousness has its source in God alone, why look elsewhere?

Hopefully the Meatasaurus-Christian will combine prayer with certain other actions…they follow.

Jesus illustrated the point pretty clearly when he told the story about the man who has a demon driven from him but is not filled up with the Spirit.  The demon goes away, wanders around, out of curiosity checks in on his old pad, finds it empty and in order, calls a few buddies and moves back in while smoking a doobie.  It is not enough for us to simply remove the item(s) from our lives.  If pride (putting self first) leaves us then something must take its place.  If we are not careful self could return.  Worse still, self could bring with it politics or money or sex or power.  Anything can take first place and when it does, God won’t be anywhere in the picture.  Likewise, if lust (a longing for the fleshly) is removed from us we will be left with a longing for something.  If we are not careful that longing could be for something much worse.  Just as when you pour out a glass of water it is filled up with air, so as we remove the unrighteous from our lives we must fill them up with righteousness.  When self is removed as the pinnacle of me I must replace it with God.  When flesh is removed as the longing of my heart I must replace it with God.  It is important that this be done on an active basis, not passively.  When I catch myself in pride I must actively set my heart on the sacrifice of Christ.  When I catch myself desiring the things of this world I should not simply stop, but should also step into the light and dwell on the Psalms.  When a vacuum is created whatever is nearby will move in to fill the gap and the end result may be worse than the beginning.

Though there are many specific steps and helps for dealing with specific sins, the third and final general step is to form spiritual habits, cultivating your soil for the growth of righteousness.  Most of our sin is habitual.  We often sin without thinking because we no longer have to think to do it, it just seems to happen.  Just like stumbling out of bed and into the shower occurs somewhere on an unconscious level, so sin, when it is properly ingrained, can occur without intention.  Even the super apostle recognized this occurrence within himself: For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.  The magic pill for killing of such sin is (as the previous step would suggest) working against those worldly habits while developing spiritual ones.  Whereas the previous step is a case-by-case replacement of the world with God so as to avoid sin in the immediate sense, this step involves longer term change; all that confusing stuff that Paul says in Romans about replacing the flesh with the Spirit—that is what I am talking about. 

We like to think that we can revel in darkness while happily walking in the light.  It is not the case.  For example, I personally have always been the last person to advocate censoring of movies believing that my freedom in Christ permits me to watch what I like, justifying my choices with movie-making-brilliance and sheer entertainment.  My freedom in Christ does entitle me to do so.  However, while Fight Club may be one of the best movies ever made, it is far from wholesome.  It did not help me to live a quite and humble life.  It did not help me to control my tongue and my passions.  It did not help me to see the value in other humans.  I fooled myself into thinking that I could sit down, watch the movie and then get up and have a noble conversation about Christ.  Incidentally, nothing produced by Stanley Kubrick is wholesome…and I think I have seen everything produced by Stanley Kubrick. L

How can we fill our lives up with Eyes Wide Shut and hope to avoid lust?  Our culture destroys our defense against Satan and we do not even notice.  If I desire to avoid pride and lust I must be filled up with Christ.  How different would I be if I replaced every ignoble movie I have watched (and I have watched a LOT of ignoble movies) with the study of scripture, with time spent in prayer, with devotional reading, with discussion of the nature of God? (Which raises the question of whether I would be an effective tool in my society if I was so foreign to it, but that is for an entirely different time and place.)

What then are the Spiritual habits?  They are prayer, study, service, meditation, confession, solitude, teaching, discussion etcetera.  The things in this world that we are most adept at are simply the things which we spend the most time doing.  We wonder why righteousness is so difficult but we do not give it near the time or attention that we give to our work or our sport.  Wouldn’t it be nice to avoid sin without thinking the way we fall into it without thinking?  More importantly wouldn’t it be nice if we did righteous things without having to think about it?  That will come when we replace the habit of sin with the habit of God. (Yes, we should all be nuns.)

I mentioned before that to develop Spiritual habits is to cultivate our soil for the growth of righteousness.  It is through the development of such habits that the righteousness from God is best able to work in us.  As was stated before, righteousness comes from God, not from ourselves, but the righteousness that he gives will be of limited effectiveness if it lands in bad soil.  Effective yes, but limited.  What we need to do is to tend our field, to till it with prayer, to fertilize it with study, to water it with confession.  When we do so, the seed of righteousness which comes from God will find a welcoming place to grow.

Pride and lust, the original sins, are a struggle for all of us.  I struggle with them more than any other, just like Blaise, just like Eve, just like David, just like the morning star.  Should you, like me, desire to be free of them, ask God, actively replace the old with the new, and form habits which gird you up against sin.

{Many of you may have noticed by now that I have been on a bit of righteousness bent for a while.  Many others of you will not be surprised when I blame Richard Foster.  In case anyone was in doubt—I am on a bit of a righteousness bent and will be for some time because I have developed a new appreciation for its significance.}

What could be harder than righteousness?  We spend so much of our time investigating the more advanced matters of faith, Church governance, community service, the endurance of unjust suffering, and “how to worship rightly”, and as a result something of greater importance is regularly swept aside, that is: simple-sweet-godly actions. Righteousness.  Perhaps it is because it is so very difficult for us to conquer.  It is a simple enough matter to elect an elder according the pattern laid out in Titus or to develop a benevolence program for your community according to the pattern laid out in Corinthians (yes, I appreciate that I am being a little facetious), but there is no easy button to press nor cure-all pill to drink that will change our actions from worldly to godly.

You foolish Galatians!  Who has bewitched you?  Are you so foolish?  After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?  Have you suffered so much for nothing-if it really was for nothing?  Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?  Galatians 3:1-5

It seems to me that the common interpretation of this passage, and others which deal with the law and works, goes something like this:  It doesn’t matter how good you try to be because a) you will always mess up and add to your imperfection, b) two rights do not cover up a wrong so you can’t earn your way into heaven anyway, and c) to attempt to be righteous is to devalue the life and sacrifice of Christ—the sole author of your perfection.  The result is that we do not actively pursue righteousness.  Yes, we stop short of, “shall we go on sinning that grace may abound,” but not far short. 

Our theory seems to be that we can simply go ahead living our lives, not desiring to sin, but not actively avoiding it because the grace of God will sort things out at the end.  It is an easy theory to accept because it is basically right.  For the new Christian, God wants only a repentant heart and will take virtually all else on himself.  It is only basically right, because to live in such a way is to miss so much of the beauty and joy which a life with Christ has to offer.

Allow me to illustrate by drawing on a lesson which though seemingly very mundane has shaped much of the way I look at the world.

Me: So explain to me the difference between say, Q-Basic and C++.

Mig: Well, Basic is, as the name would suggest, very easy to use.  The commands are very straight forward and you can write a program with very little effort and input.  C++ on the other hand requires much more effort on the part of the programmer and much more knowledge.

Me: So why doesn’t everyone just use Basic?

Mig: Because C++ is so much richer.  Because Q-Basic is very easy to use it is also very limited in what it can do.  There are fewer instructions that one can use and fewer details that the programmer can give to the computer.  C++ has a much more detailed and complicated language that requires significantly more knowledge and understanding to control, but once it is mastered you can do just about anything.

Me: So you get what you paid for?

Mig: Exactly.

Is the lesson obvious enough?  We can choose to be Q-Basic Christians or C++ Christians. (Programmers will forgive me if we should in fact be Cobal, Pascal, SQL or Linux Christians.)  One requires less of us and more grace, the other requires more of us and more grace.  One is very simple in what it can produce—a saved soul, the other much richer—a saved soul with a full life.  Both might be able to adequately reproduce the classic game, “Lemonade Stand”, but wouldn’t it be better in 3D with 32 million colors and surround sound?

Bernard of Clairvaux illustrates the situation thusly:  The Christian grows gradually and as he or she does so, a deeper fuller experience of God is to be had.  For example, initially we love God for our own sake.  We learn that by loving him we will be benefiting ourselves greatly.  Later, we love God for his sake.  That is, we come to know him and to appreciate his saving grace and begin to love him for who he is rather than for what he can do for us.  Finally, we love ourselves for God’s sake.  That is (and this one is less self-explanatory so I would suggest reading his treatise yourself), our will and his will become so intertwined that to serve self is to serve God and vice versa.

The prayer, “Thy will be done,” will be our prayer and our delight.  Just as a little drop of water mixed with a lot of wine seems to entirely lose its own identity as it takes on the taste and color of the wine; just as iron, heated and glowing, looks very much like fire, having lost its original appearance; just as air flooded with the light of the sun is transformed into the same splendor of the light so that it appears to be light itself, so it is like for those who melt away from themselves and are entirely transfused into the will of God.  Bernard of Clairvaux—On the Love of God.

How could a live be richer than for it to be “entirely transfused into the will of God”?  And yet how could a life be entirely transfused into the will of God that is corrupt and full of evil desires and practices?  If you need an answer to that rhetorical question, try spending a day in vice and debauchery and then the next dwelling on the significance of the Psalms.  You will find I am sure that your own revulsion at self causes you to miss the words of God entirely.  While one can be a sinner and saved, how much better to live a righteous life in the bosom of God?

When Paul writes to the Church in Galatia, telling them that “it is not by human effort that they attain their goal,” he is not telling them that no human effort is involved.  When he writes to the Church in Ephesus, telling them that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works so that no one can boast,” he is not telling them that works are vain.  No, this is the same Paul who writes to the Church in Corinth, “I beat my body to make it my slave.”  Paul understood three things.  First, that in terms of objective righteousness, “are you in or are you out?” (and if you have even a speck of sin you are out), we can do nothing for ourselves but must fully rely on the grace of God.  Second, that righteousness comes from God, both objectively and subjectively, subjective righteousness being the actual right or wrong actions of the individual.  Thus when he speaks to the Galatians and calls them fools it is because they are attempting to attain righteousness (both subjective and objective) without the assistance of God.  Third, that subjective righteousness can be attained and may require some self-flagellation.

If subjective righteousness is both illusory and unprofitable, then why does Jesus waste his breath on it?

If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.  And if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.  Matt 5:29-30.

Was Jesus speaking metaphorically about the divisive brother within the Church (we are very good at cutting people off and throwing them away) or was he simply meaning that we should go to great lengths to avoid sin?

Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come.  It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.  Luke 17:1-2

Is it fair to say that Jesus is rather serious about sin?  Does Jesus treat sin, not on a universal level but on a day to day right and wrong level, like something which is very important and at the core of his message?

   Surely the arm of the Lord is not to short to save, nor his ear to dull to hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear.

   The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice.  He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm worked salvation for him.

   “The redeemer will come to Zion, to those in Jacob who repent of their sins,” declares the Lord. Isa 59

The Bible boils down to a story about a broken relationship and one party’s attempt to restore that relationship.  With very little digging it is immediately apparent that the cause of the breakdown is sin.  At the very root of the problem is sin.  The source of division between us and our loving father is sin.  It was out of love and for sin that the creator of the universe suffered at the hands of the created.  How then can we relegate righteousness to a position of unimportance?

-CM-

“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 
So what does all this business about prayer and cancer have to do with God being with us – let alone Romans 8?  Well, let me explain…but first, a few more examples.

Both my father and mother have told me from time to time that they feel like abject failures at life.  The first time that I heard such words from them I was rather cut.  After all, in my short life I have based my conception of what a good life looks like on no one more than my parents.  They give various reasons and examples and their arguments are not entirely without merit.  However, I do not consider any of their actions or the events in their lives to have been failures; I prefer to look upon them as opportunities for me to learn (because camp’s not over yet) and will simply label them mild regrets.  I have expressed this feeling to my parents and I hope that they are starting to get it.  Their suffering and their mistakes have benefited me greatly.

A friend of mine—who I cannot call close though I have every intention of rectifying that wrong as soon as possible—recently informed a group of strangers about some things in his life that he has kept hidden for a very long time.  I will not go into the specifics, but suffice it to say that they are pretty terrible—both things that were done to him and things that he did to himself as a consequence.  He has suffered deeply.  My friend used his experience to teach some kids last week and I do believe that he changed a number of lives with his confession, not the least of which being my own.  God has dealt him a very unfair life and has used it to teach a powerful lesson.

I have another friend that I know quite intimately who suffered a great deal too.  I disappoint him frequently but he is a forgiving sort of guy.  He gave up a pretty sweet life with all of the perks and amenities because he believed that he could make a difference in people’s lives.  He saw a great deal of pain and suffering without any end or salvation in sight and determined to give everything he had to rectifying the problem.  He lived with a decaying people for thirty-odd years and after all that he had done for them, the very people whom he came to care for, turned against him and cried for his blood.  Up to the very end he had the opportunity to get out of the situation, but he chose to endure their treasonous actions so as to teach them a powerful lesson.  I was among those shouting crucify him!  God had an especially unjust life set aside for my friend, but he lived it purposefully to teach me.  His mother called him Joshua, but you and I know of him as the Christ.

So the question remains, what do Michael Jones, Noel & Kay Malan, an unnamed friend, God and Romans 8:28 have in common?  Well, it is pretty simple.  I have benefited from the suffering of others.

I cannot see how Michael personally benefited from his bout with cancer; how cancer was worked for Michael Jones’ good.  I can see very clearly how a number of other people have enjoyed goodness as a result.  Was Romans 8 not written to Michael too?  I cannot see how my parents have benefited from betrayal, hatred, pride and the punishments of life, but I can see very clearly how many others have benefited from their ill fortune.  Was Romans 8 not written to them too?  My friend should not have suffered what he did.  It was plain wrong.  It will likely haunt him in one way or another forever, yet I saw goodness in the eyes of forty middle school kids around the camp fire that night.  Was Romans 8 not written to him too?  My Lord was perfect in every way and needed nothing for fulfillment yet he endured whips, beatings, mockery, nails, a spear, and worst of all rejection by those he loves.  He could not be more perfect, so how could those things be to his benefit?  No, he sacrificed himself for those who brought about his pain!  Was he not quite a man that Romans 8 did not apply to him?

In each case it is easy to see how Romans 8:28 could be applied to those surrounding the subject of the suffering, but it is very difficult to imagine how it could apply to the one in pain.  What needs to be accepted in order to understand the verse is that it was written only to those who love the Lord, who are called according to his purpose.

Those who love the Lord: Bernard of Clairvaux writes: “True love is precisely this: that it does not seek its own interests, but it seeks another’s instead”.  Romans 8:28 applies perfectly to all of the aforementioned situations only when each of those individuals disregard their own interests and adopt the Lord’s out of love for him.  A complete love is able to disregard its own interests entirely in its calculations, devoting all attention to the interests of the other.  Having done so, they will be more than happy to endure further pains should they understand them to further the work of God.

And are called according to his purpose: Likewise, Romans 8:28 applies perfectly to all of the aforementioned situations only when each has his or her purpose firmly fixed in the purpose of the Lord.  Should Michael Jones have purposed first and foremost to be a world champion badminton player, cancer would have upset him greatly.  However, should Michael’s first purpose have been to further the kingdom of God and faith in the power of prayer, he could not have engaged in a more beneficial activity.  Should my anonymous friend have purposed to live an emotionally balanced life in which he was easily able to befriend and trust people and in which he valued himself highly he would nary have chosen to be abused and neglected.  However, as I know that his first purpose is to seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness, he is able to see worth in himself and take joy in his suffering. 

Jesus understood this lesson more than any and consequently could (before he was able to see the results) approach the cross with joy and intention.  He did not desire that his own interests be met, but only the interests of God (God’s interests being our best interest).  He did not purpose anything for himself save that he give all to the service of God (God’s purpose being purely our best interest).  Thus he was able to endure the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of God.  Now, just at the mention of his name, every knee should bend and every tongue confess his lordship.

So do not take comfort in Romans 8:28 when times are tough, thinking that everything will turn out for your good.  It is quite likely that things will get worse and when all is said and done things will end tragically for you.  However, if your interests are set on God and your purpose is founded in his then your life and suffering WILL NOT BE IN VAIN.  You will truly have done the will of God and will rest in his arms—a blessing to the kingdom and to the one you love.

Luke 14:25-33

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-yes, even his own life-he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
 

This Christianity business is very expensive. –CM-

“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 Many of you who read this post will have heard this story before.  If so, try to learn something new.  For the rest of you, this is the story about how I was fully convinced of the power of prayer.  I write it again now because a) I was reminded of it at camp, b) I was reminded of it when I arrived in Australia, and c) every time I tell it I give value to my friend’s pain.

 Michael Jones was and is one of my best friends.  Though we live oceans apart and only converse by email, though we have not seen one another in over six years, I believe I will consider him one of my best friends forever.  That may sound very fourth-grade, but if it does—bite me.  What I want you to understand from that introduction is that Michael Jones is very important to me.  Knowing that, it will be easier for you to imagine how my heart felt when I found out that he had acute, terminal and inoperable cancer.  It wasn’t the little patch of cancer that can be burned off with some liquid hydrogen.  It was a tumor that filled every available space in Michael’s torso, tickling his bowel, his stomach, his heart and his lungs.

 What made the situation worse for me was that my friend Michael was the healthiest twenty year-old that I knew.  He ate well, he lived well, he played hard and was good at everything he did.  In addition to these physical attributes, Michael Jones was one of the sweetest men alive.  He was very caring and compassionate and sensitive.  Cancer was not right for him.  It was plain tragic—certainly unfair.

 Michael’s doctors gave him two months.  The second opinion gave him a few more.  None gave him more than six.  He asked for treatment but the doctors told him it was hopeless.  I spent a week weeping for him on the inside.  At the end of a dark week I came upon a story about some well dressed lilies and cheap sparrows so I decided to pray.  I prayed all I could and then I got some more people to pray with me.  They prayed all they could and got some more people to pray with them.  In the end there were literally hundreds of people around the world praying for Michael Jones.  We did not pray the cheap prayers that people pray to protect their faith in God asking: “Let it happen this way, but if it happens the other way that’s good too.”  No, we put our faith on the line and prayed that Michael would be healed—completely.  Like new.  Like Elijah called down fire on the altar of God, we prayed with expectation.

 The months the doctors gave to Michael expired but Michael remained.  He remained long enough to see the tumor in his belly shrink to an operable size.  He remained long enough to suffer sickness at the hands of six months of chemo-therapy and radiation in order to destroy the remnants of the cancer.  He remained long enough to hear the doctors use the word “remission” twelve months later. 
Michael Jones is alive today.  The only physical problem that he has suffered (to my knowledge) is a prematurely receded hairline.  He has however suffered some unfortunate mental scaring which is probably to be expected.  He hasn’t said as much, but I can read it in his words.

The long and the short of it is that in a world without miracles, Michael Jones should not be alive.  God worked in Michael Jones’ life.  I am pretty sure that he didn’t do it for Michael though.  I think he did it for me and for the thousands of people that I have told Michael’s story to.  I will never have cause to doubt the power of prayer ever again.  As I go through my life and move around this world I will never fail to tell his story so as to share my faith in God’s ability to work in our lives.

I have been fortunate enough to see the power of God in a number of other prayerful situations since then and all confirm that our Father in heaven is watching us and cares for us deeply.  Pray with faithful expectation.  If you do, you will not be surprised but will be pleased with the results.

I found out a couple of days ago that Norm Sandvoss has been diagnosed with acute, inoperable and terminal cancer.  I will see Norm in a couple of days and will ask him if he wants us to intercede in prayer.  He has had a long life and may simply want to be wrapped up in the arms of his savior.  If he asks, I will pray expectantly and will ask you to do the same.

I used that phrase for the first time during camp as I conversed with myself about minor changes which I felt needed to be made to the structure of our activities.  In my dialogue (yes, you read correctly, I was speaking to myself) I used it to mean that at the discretion of the directors, camp is infinitely malleable and thus anything that needs to be changed can be changed in order to improve the camp experience until such time as camp is over.  It occurred to me later that the statement, “camp’s not over yet”, has profound application to people’s lives too.

I used the phrase at least three times with campers who felt that they had not made use of their time at camp wisely.  They had spent much of camp with either a negative attitude to what was going on around them (thus failing at rule 1) or had simply isolated themselves from the full joy and experience of camp by only spending time with a select few people and not giving their hearts to the various activities and functions organized.  I used the phrase specifically to remind them that until such time as camp is over there is nothing to prevent them (the directors) from changing their attitudes and actions (what needs to be changed) so as to be able to extract from camp every morsel possible (in order to improve the camp experience) so long as a single hour of camp remains.

In addition to using the phrase to relate directly to camp, one can see how the same phrase can be applied to one’s life in general—more specifically one’s life with Christ.  Too often we fall into the trap of thinking that everything has gone to pot and is irreparably damaged as a result of some mistake or poor choice in action.  It can be something as simple as a decision which didn’t work out well or as complicated as a relationship destroyed.  For most it is the Black Knight who meets us on our walk and will not give up until he is completely dismembered.  For those not privy to the inside joke, the Black Knight represents the persistence of sin which meets us along our walk.  It must be challenged and beaten and will not give up attacking and hurling insults until such time as it has been rendered utterly impotent; unfortunately it seems that the Black Knight wins the challenge far more often than he loses.  The end result is the same however it comes about.  People, Christians, feel that they have wasted their lives because it has not all been perfect.  Once the calamity occurs and is recognized for what it is, people spend every remaining day in guilt, feeling that camp has been spoiled and cannot be recovered.  They feel that the events of the past prevent them from extracting from life the fullness which it has been designed to yield.

I saw exactly this situation in a number of campers (on the camp level) and in a number of other individuals, myself included, in terms of life with Christ.  A couple of campers came to me at the end of camp with tears in their eyes apologizing for being such rotten campers and giving me so much grief.  With each of them I made the point of finding their parents and with the camper present let the parents know just how great a camper their child had been.  Each of the campers who approached me in such a way had in fact done something of which they were not proud.  I had at the time expressed my disappointment to each of them.  Without exception each of those campers had enjoyed a complete turn around in attitude.  The result for each was that by the end of camp I could not be more proud of them and could not for the life of me imagine looking at them with any kind of disdain.  The campers who at one time failed in their walk, realized their error, changed their hearts and minds, and positively determined to get the most out of camp elicited absolutely no antipathy in my mind.  In fact, I could not be more proud of them and was greatly encouraged by their week at camp.

Though it smacks of narcissism, let us for a moment imagine that I am God and camp is life.  Are the similarities not immediately apparent?  We find ourselves having soiled something of beauty, the whole purpose of which is to allow us to walk better.  We have realized our error, we have repented of our sin and have determined to live a new life, and yet we spend our new life fretting over our past.  When we approach our father it is with tears in our eyes for our folly.  Our father then sees us with noting but love and adoration, proud of his children for their determination to stay the course and unable to remember what it is that upset him in the first place.  He makes the point of lifting us up and blessing us in the eyes of the heavenly host and of his son, the Lord of all.

It is hard for a young person to have faith in me—an overblown foreigner with a goatee—and my ability to forgive, but what about our father?  This world teaches us that forgiveness is a possibility but forgetfulness is a sin.  Sin against me once and I might have mercy, but sin against me twice and I will be a blight on your life.  Quite justly, the campers who failed did not expect that I would esteem them so highly.  Do we not show a lack of faith and do God a further injustice when we do not trust him with our salvation, when we do not consider him capable of forgiving and forgetting our weaknesses?

The Lord our God simply desires that we will walk with him, towards him, and for him.  Until such time as we can no longer walk, camp’s not over.  If we repent, he will take pride in us when it is time to go home.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.  His mercies never come to an end.  They are new every morning.  Great is they faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion says my soul.  Therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24

I just got done writing a 2500 word blog which will likely never be posted.  I think that I will share it with a few individuals, but it is not for everyone.

The long and the short of it is that we must appreciate that God will give us what we ask for in prayer.  He will even give you something that is very painful.  I have never believed that as much as this night.  Also, we must appreciate that God is bigger and stronger than we are.  He will play around with you and try to knock some sense into you gently for a while, but if you are too proud and you push it too far, he will pull out a cosmic ju-jitsu move and dislocate your hip.  If you don't believe me, ask Jacob.

I request that if you read this you will offer a prayer for me, that I will learn from my struggles, that I will persevere in them and accept them.

-CM-